Selfishness is defined as having no regard for the needs or feelings of others and being concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself. If someone is totally self-involved and unconcerned about the feeling of others, they are likely to be unresponsive to you in any way other than evaluating how you meet their needs. There is a difference between self-loving and being selfish. A selfish person artistically displays the following characteristics.
- Manipulation
Selfish people utilize behavior for their benefit without regard for others. They are master manipulators. The manipulation feeds on to your self-esteem as you give in to their demands and take care of their needs neglecting yours. They use you to feel good about themselves. Selfishness is a learned behavior from childhood. You definitely feel used but trapped.
- Uncaring
Selfish individuals are emotional tyrants. They are uncaring and have no empathy for your physical or emotional needs. The more love and reward you show them, the easier it is for them to feed from your kindness. They have no tolerance for you when you do not submit to their desires. They are all about them. The best way to deal with them is to put yourself first and let them know it. You do not need to explain anything to them as they cannot see past their own needs.
- Plotting and scheming
This trait and action arise from the fear of losing control. The moment you step into the picture you are disrupting their goal. The selfish person will continue doing things behind your back and plotting a different angle to suit themselves. The lack of control scares them. They have to manipulate everything. The best way to deal with this type of behavior is to show them who is really in charge through kindness. And when that does not work it is important to let them go. You cannot be responsible for how they feel if they cannot see and learn from your good gesture.
- Self-centered and conceited
Narcissism and selfishness arrive from a lack of self-worth and an attention seeking behavior. In order to feel better this type of personality will brag and make everything about them seem relevant. Stay true to yourself. The moment they put you down remember not to take it personally. Anyone who goes around hurting another is truthfully a hurt individual. They must put themselves up by putting another down. Always remember that it does not need to be you.
- Giving and sharing do not come easily.
Selfish people pretend they care. They might say the right things but their actions speak loudly on the opposite. They only do things for others when they will receive great benefit from them. It is not in their nature to go out and give. If they do, it is because they want the attention back to them for giving. They will make sure they let the world know how wonderful they have been. The easiest way to readjust their behavior is to take away their focus. Do not praise the behavior. It is best to just allow the act itself to go unnoticed.
- Expectation of others to do things for them.
A selfish person has high expectations of what they need. They live based on what others think of them and what they can do for them. What can they get out of this? They expect the world to revolve around their needs and desires. They ask for lots of favors, so stop doing them. Do not give into their demands. Limit the time you spend around this type of person because if they do not have you available to their demands, they will not need to be with you.
To some extent, we are all considered selfish when we give to ourselves first and foremost. But there is a line between narcissism and self-care. Being selfish is self-absorbing of others. This type of personality is arrogant and self-indulging. There are ways to deal with selfishness and remove those who bathe only in their glory. End all relationships that do not support you because you deserve better.